A while back, one of my brothers made an error at work, which cost a client a bunch of money.
They leveled accusations, pointed fingers, ranted and raved, filed a lawsuit and after a failed attempt to settle the dispute, ended up in court—a typical insurance company battle.
On the one hand, I take no issue with the process.
Insurance providers charge periodic premiums to a large number of policyholders and aggregate significant amounts of capital.
When a policyholder has a problem, the insurance company allocates a portion of those funds to resolving the issue—classic risk management.
From an economic standpoint, absent a major catastrophe through which too many policyholders claim simultaneous losses, the model works.
My challenge lies on the human side.
Why do we continue to cling to this barbaric need to vilify, castigate and put down those who make mistakes, cause them (and ourselves) to feel unworthy, dirty or bad?
“Did you hear that so-and-so did such-and-such? Oooohhh, big trouble in that house.”
Those who lead full lives will pay the price of a higher number of botches and bungles.
Even the most sheltered existence will include its fair share of lapses and slip-ups.
The inevitability of mistake-making ought to cause us to reconsider our perspective.
Step One: Admit the error.
Step Two: Take responsibility for it.
Step Three: Ponder and reflect on the situation. What might we have changed? What could we do differently?
Step Four: Make a determination to avoid the same slight next time.
Step Five: Move on. Go out and make an imprint on the world, armed with more maturity, more seasoning and an increased ability to contribute.
If we follow a mistake with personal responsibility and a renewed determination to shift the behavior when we face similar circumstances, we convert it into a lesson.
If we choose to dwell on the fault or mentally beat up on ourselves, we stay stuck in the problem instead of focused on solutions—a guaranteed ticket to bitterness, regret and rigidity.
Interesting how study after study tells us that we learn most during the ages of 3 and 7, that our brain expands and grows exponentially during this period.
How coincidental that during these years we make the most mistakes.
Perhaps we should shift our viewpoint a tad, celebrate our humanity, embrace our imperfections, welcome the learning that derives from challenging defects or deficiencies and recognize the value of a good fall.
I don’t know about you, but I seem to mess up on a fairly regular basis, often in a pretty big way and I don’t see that varying much anytime soon.
I guess that means I’m on a high learning gradient.
Besides, most of us find perfection very boring.
That’s A View From The Ridge…
Best-selling author, Ridgely Goldsborough has written 19 books to date, 5 on emotional intelligence, and has developed a phenomenal program called Partner Attraction Formula that you can get absolutely free as a member of the Groove community. Also, visit Mind Types for a FREE and fun quiz that will give you a new perspective!